I'm Gonna' Write a Blog
So, Here I am, sitting on my plane to Bali and I cannot help but to chuckle at myself, you know those quirky tunes airlines play when your plane takes off and when it lands? Normally the most recent Justin Bieber or Katy Perry pop hit. “Fight Song“ Was on repeat and I finally caught on and was thinking “you are joking, this is me right now!!!” I’m one of those people that believe the universe provides us messages in what some might see as ‘coincidences’ (its more fun that way). Motivating songs that seem to represent your exact adventure whilst sitting on a plane, booking accommodation an hour before a flight and end up with a suite right next to the yoga barn that was 80% off (there Is benefit in being unorganised at times – I can hear my best friend “hmmmmm” at this under her breath right now hehe), a whole exit row to myself and an accidental vegetarian meal (more disorganisation), and this is just in one morning - win! You see, I got use to things not working out for me, for a long time I accepted it. I accepted cancelled flights, late arrivals, stolen passports, missed opportunities, injuries around times of new adventures, an anxious attitude around life. How sad is that? I accepted and said, “Typical, just my bad luck.” No, I am the creator of my luck - It wasn’t until I realised no, that is not okay anymore. Either I need to change my mind set, or I need to start communicating with the universe (turns out both), Have all of these things subsided. I forced myself into situations I thought I wanted to be in, I thought I was expected to be in, had I allowed my ego to take over? I now believe yes. Its not until I stopped being so friggen patient around the things I really wanted in my life and stopped forcing things I was half hearted around, was it that the elements which really lit me up just started flowing. I’m still getting use to it, I’m getting use to flow because it’s a new occurrence for me, but damn it feels good.
For so long I thought I had to have one career, and a successful one at that! When I say successful I refer it back to making a lot of money with Dr, Manager, Owner in front of my name. Although these are all incredible achievements and one day I believe I will have, when I am ready, maybe. They are labels, right? Like when you really think about it – who is more successful in life, the Dr that slugged threw a degree, the shop owner that is struggling to hold it together and has lost that fire they once had for the job – or the one that’s just riding the wave? I guess all, in there own perception of success. I choose to now see success as happiness and contentment, not within a job title but within my soul. In my short life of 22 years I have already danced for 12 years, studied law for a year at school, studied primary school teaching for 6 months, hairdresser for 7 years, been a barista for 2, taught yoga for 2 and begun studying Naturopathy, See the swapping and changing? I sure do. I use to see this as a failure but do you also see the pattern? Always wanting to help. Always somehow wanting to make someone feel more beautiful, learn something new; pull them out of a shitty situation. I saw this swapping and changing as erratic and inconsistent for such a long time. Man, I was so hard on myself about it! I took my hat off to the people that had studied one thing and had stuck to that job forever! Not that I am saying there is anything wrong with that – people genuinely find what they want to do from day dot.. But there are so much of us that don’t. We pick something because we are told it would suit us or it just comes easy. My reflection back on my pattern allowed me to see my instability – not within the careers but within myself. All of these jobs and studies are incredible opportunities although I couldn’t stick to anything because I wasn’t grounded. I didn’t think I was good enough, I didn’t believe in myself and because they really didn’t make my heart sing at that moment in time. I had never felt a fire in my belly, warmness in my heart like I had when I taught my first yoga class. I knew from that moment, this is it; this is what I will do for the rest of my life. I could finally relate to those people that had found there calling career. I truly believe I will be one of those 90 year old inspiring women we see on Facebook or you tube still teaching (insert laughing face). Although I feel this in my heart, I am also so open to all the years I have ahead of me, all of the experiences, the influences, and the energies that have the potential to alter this journey I am on. Life is so fun like that. The way I choose to see life now is like a game. It doesn’t last forever, it is continuously changing, it has the room to go so many ways, people come in and have the possibility to change situations that where not once part of the plan, everyone is at different levels and stages. Except in this game the only time we are losing – Is when you have disconnected so much from source, being you, you don’t even know what you want anymore. Notice that I said losing, not lost. You have never lost in this game – there is always time to listen to your heart, which is why we return. Every day is a new day; everyday is a new opportunity to create. You have created before, you have created this journey you are on, trust me when I say you can create again. I come to this passage a lot a teacher of mine had shared.
“From Ignorance to Enlightenment”
MINDFULNESS +EQUANIMITY > INSIGHT AND PURIFICATION > SELF REALISATION.
THE PRACTICE
Mindfulness – gentle effort of being present within.
Equanimity – being with things as they are, without judgement
THE PROCESS
Insight - gaining of insight into the truth that leads to freedom
Purification – shedding of ignorance that leads to suffering
THE RESULT
Self-realisation – freedom, complete self-knowledge, the recognition and abiding in one’s true nature, natural state.
We all know that within process generally comes falling apart at some stage or another. I once saw falling apart again as failure, as fear, although this falling apart that happens is just space being undone for a new, a creation, a rebuilding, a rebirth. Every time things tend to fall apart we are hard on ourselves right? We tend to apologise a lot, we think that we have done something wrong, we radiate a lot of negativity towards life. How would you feel if I put it to you like this..
That undoing you see as falling apart, as failure – is just the beginning of new. Things don’t just fall apart for no reason, the universe doesn’t work that way. There isn’t a man in the sky pointing his finger and just randomly destructing things to create a dis of ease to us beings just because. Although it may be difficult at the time to see why this has happened I encourage you to sit with it. What has this now opened up a new door too? What other paths are now available for you to walk down? Where you really that invested/committed? Did it really light you up? Communicate with the universe, ask and you will receive. You don’t walk into a coffee shop and just stare at the barista blankly expecting for them to put exactly what you want in your hand do you?
Try and laugh with this undoing and get excited because YOU have now been gifted a new beginning to recreate. You see, if you are negative about something that has already happened, what do you think will come to you? Negativity. How do you expect anything else? The energy that you put into the negativity has a powerful outcome. Instead, direct that energy toward positivity, belief, trust and this is what you will attract.
This writing started out as me jotting things down, journaling you could say. I am not great at being silent but not always does the person next to me on my flight have the same appreciation towards conversation as I do, thank goodness for the ability to write. Only now am I thinking I might start a blog. Yeah, I’m gonna’ start a blog. With travel this head butting of silence may appear frequently. With this blog I will have no expectations; it may be very sporadic. I will share when I need to share, I will write when I need to write and I ask you to arrive with the same intention.
With that I will end by saying, may we trust, may we surrender and may we believe. You are source; everything you need is within you.
Chat soon,
Love & Light,
El xo
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